Welcome to the world of
Michael G Kimber
Michael G Kimber
The Nightwriter
Three Days
Yesterday
Looking back Tobias supposed it was the unexpectedness of it that made it hard. It simply had never occurred to him that such a thing would happen, but almost without him knowing, it did. It was as though he had been looking the other way, taking no notice of what was going on. Could it have been perhaps, that even at such a young age, he simply didn't want to know.
"Come here darling." his mother said one day. Somehow he knew what she was going to say, even before she managed to say the words. "Your father is going away for a while.”
He knew at once that 'a while' meant for good. "Are you getting divorced?" He was ten years old; what did he know about divorce? His mother was not inclined to go too deep, but quietly replied that because their careers made conflicting demands, they had grown apart. "We see so little of each other, and you hardly ever see him." She smiled a heavy smile, "So we think it best that he should live closer to his work."
It seemed so matter of fact, all decided, no need to ask any questions. Not that Tabby could think of anything at the time.
"I've told the other two, and they seem to be quite alright about it."
The 'other two' were his sister Josephina, and brother Stefan. She was twelve, and his brother was seven, but as for 'being alright' his mother was way off. When he saw Jo later that day her red eyes were proof of that. And Stef, normally a none-stop chatterbox, couldn't find a word to say.
"What do you think Jo?" Tabby asked my sister. Being two years older than himself, he thought she would know. "What's happened?"
"I don't know. They never said anything before."
"When is he leaving?" he persisted. She didn't answer this time, but hurriedly fished for her hanky out of the cuff of her sleeve before turning her back on her brother. However his question was answered at breakfast the next morning. Everything seemed just the same and father’s briefcase was waiting for him by the door, just as it was on most Monday mornings.
The family didn't usually see him during the week. Mum said he had a room near his laboratory, where, the children believed, he was doing something secret for the government; but he always came home for the weekends. He had been quite jolly over breakfast, telling them not to worry, that he would see them as often as possible, and that they would hardly notice the difference. He was right in one sense, for they did not notice any difference at first, but over time it began to dawn on them that he did not live with them any more. His visits became brief, no longer including overnight stays or breakfasts.
Conversation between him and his wife became polite, but rather formal, and jolliness with his children seemed somehow forced. Gradually the time between visits lengthened until, by the time Tobias was fifteen they saw him only once a year.
By and large they remained a happy household, mother managing to maintain her professional life as a solicitor; Josephina achieving high marks at school, and was looking forward to university. Stephan had settled well into the Grammar school joining Tobias who had gravitated to the senior section; he of course, being three years behind his older brother.
They had all moved on, looking to the future, yet completely unaware what fate had in store for them. Life moved on, as if - in a way that they were not yet able to understand - it had nothing to do with them.
But strangely Tobias often found himself looking back, clinging perhaps with a certainty that only hindsight brings, to times past. Back to times remembered, and paradoxically to those uncertainties that the passing months and years turned into certainties. They were his yesterdays, but they clung, stubbornly refusing to be left behind.
Three Days
Today
The train rumbled into the station as though it had all the time in the world. Not the usual steaming screeching hissing rush that one is used to, as it hurtles by the platform seemingly too fast to stop in time, and passengers waiting to board are forced to trot, or even run, fearful of being left behind.
Not this time. It was like a glider coming in to land, almost silent as it shyly slipped into it's allotted space.
Long before it stopped Tobias had thrown the door back, and leaning out, watched as the train eased its way by the platform, and would-be passengers strolled by its side easily keeping pace, until a slight jolt brought it to a stop.
Stepping down, a rucksack over one shoulder, and a large old wheeled suitcase following bumpily behind, he looked beyond the waiting passengers. There she was, waiting by the main exit; Jo, his big sister. It had been a while since he had seen her and he could not help smiling. Jo, very petite, slight of build and of height, was way smaller than her brother, but being two years older than he, in his eyes she was - had always been - his big sister. Despite that, with her good job in the legal department of a finance company, her constant boast was that she would be a millionaire before either of her brothers.
"Hello Tabby," she said, as she threw her arm around his neck and lifted herself to kiss his cheek. "had a good journey?"
"Hi Jo," he responded, trying to hold the rucksack in place, while at the same time holding on to his case so that he could find an arm with which to circle her shoulders. "I didn't expect to see you here." he told her as he accepted her kiss.
Tobias smiled. He had lived with the moggy nick-name all his life from within his family, though happily most other people - with his blessing - call him Toby. But way back,when he was a baby, and Jo was a toddler, she could never manage to get her tongue round Tobias, and the nearest she ever got to it was Tabby. Somehow the amusement it caused his parents allowed their first child's version to continue, until it stuck for good, and he was Tabby thereafter. Even his parents, and his younger brother, who came along three years later, called him Tabby. Indeed, he often wondered if Stef ever knew his real name.
"Where is Stef?" he asked Jo, "I thought he would be here to meet me."
"So am I not good enough then?" Jo asked, at the same time giving my arm a thump.
Curiously Tabby’s parents forbade the use of shortened names for their other children. Whether it was a reaction to his name being accidentally reduced from rather smart intellectuality to that of a back-ally cat he don't know. What he do know was that any attempt to shorten the names of his siblings was met with a severe rebuke. But not Tobias. Somehow the die was cast and he remained Tabby.
Of course the ban, so steadfast in the home was generally ignored out of it. At school or at play the natural inclination of children to shorten names was unstoppable. Inevitably Josephina became 'Jo' and Stefan became 'Stef'. And Tobias? Once outside the confines of the house, he was treated just the same. He was however spared the ignominy of a feline nick-name. No longer an ally cat, he was now eternally linked to a somewhat portly jug.
The drive home gave Jo the opportunity to quiz her brother about his last term at university, while Tabby was able to update on family matters, and about recent romantic developments of his siblings, particularly the gossip, or scandals.
”Nothing as juicy as a scandal I’ m afraid, but I’ve got a new boy friend. Does that count?”
“Not unless you’ve been getting up to lots of naughty mischief.” he replied.
“Never mind me; how about you getting a girl friend?” Jo teased.
“Plenty of time for that.” Tabby answered. “I don’t want to get sidetracked. Getting my degree is the main thing for me at the moment.”
“But you have to get away from it now and again Tabby.”
“Oh don't worry about that. I have my divergences now and again.”
“Ooh, tell me more.”
“No way, it would be all round the town in twenty minutes.” he told her.
The banter went on for the rest of the journey, and even though she was driving Jo managed to land a couple of blows on her brother’s arm.
Home was the same as usual; comfortable; familiar; safe; and for Tobias, seeing his family, if only for a few days, was like recharging a battery.
“Hello dear; glad you could make it.” Mum said as she planted the inevitable kiss on her son’s cheek. “Now I’m rather busy; Look after your brother Josephina.”
Josephina smiled and put a fist up to Tobias. “Of course mother dear.”
Mum was always busy; nothing new there. Efficiently preparing dinner and doing the multitude of tasks, seemingly all at the same time, like most mothers do, she was happy. Once again they were a complete family; Josephina and Stefan would make up the quartet at this holiday time.
Well, not quite complete, although it was a kind of completeness, one that they had all come to accept. Only dad was missing. Tabby’s dad, who he had not seen for over a year when he visited him at his flat was, once again, the only absentee. Ten years had elapsed since he left the family home, and the separation, which both parents had hoped to be a trial, had become permanent. Of course after all that time Tobias had become used to life without him, but he still missed him; his smile, his shy aloofness, and his sharp wit.
“Where is Stefan anyway. Doesn’t he know I’m coming?” he asked his mother as she swept through the room carrying a tray.
“I expect he will be home soon dear. Yes he knows you are coming down, but he told me that there are more important things in life than meeting up with big brothers.”
“What?” Tabby shouted, “Of all the bloody.......”
“Don’t swear dear. He was joking you know.” The rebuke was delivered with a straight, if slightly controlled, face.
“I bl....jolly well hope so.”
“You know he sees you as his roll model, and he wants to get good marks in his final exams so he can follow you into university - very soon now.” she said as she disappeared back into the kitchen. Unexpectedly she re-appeared; her head at least, “So don’t let him down.”
As if on cue the front door burst open and in walked little brother. Except that he wasn’t little any more. Tabby had not seen all that much of him during the three years he had been at university, and suddenly; or so it seemed; he was as tall as his older brother. Eighteen years old now, grown up, grown out, a man. Without embarrassment they hugged. It was good to be home.
The reason for this special November weekend was Thanksgiving. The parents had met, married and indeed lived for a few years in America, and the ritual of thanksgiving, so much a part of the American way of life, had stayed with them when they came back to England. Even after they split up Mrs McAlister continued to observe the day. That her children should not consider the event worth a long trip home from university or wherever they were, was not an option for them.
Four of them round the table, happy in each others company and looking forward to dealing with the turkey which was set between us. The meal over, it was time for the toasts. Another family ritual when everyone has his or her turn to celebrate something, or someone dear to them. When it was Tabby’s turn he stood up and after saying a few words raised his glass to ‘Absent Friends’, a traditional toast made at all gatherings, for all occasions, all over the world. Despite its common use he made, and meant, the toast with great sincerely. He spoke the words quietly yet firmly, conscious that he had been allowed to assume the role of head of the household, if only in an honorary capacity. He was thinking about his dad, and as often before, wishing he was with them today.
Three Days
Tomorrow
Who can say what twists and turns the way ahead may bring. Certainly not Tobias McAlister. He was fortunate that good education had lead to reasonable and satisfying success in business. As for the rest he would be the first to say ‘thank’s for some lucky breaks, and then maybe, “who knows?”
He pressed the button and threw the remote control on the bed. “That's enough of you.” he said to the TV, bored with the endless soaps that masquerades as drama on US television, or the canned laughter of their ‘comedies’.
He was glad his trip to New York was nearly over. Not that it hadn’t been worthwhile. He knew his partner would be pleased at the interest that had been expressed in their venture, and with the number of firm orders placed with their US agents. He had taken on this trip because his partner’s expertise was needed back home on a special contract, but he preferred the settled environment of the home office, quite happy to let him do most of the globe trotting.
Earlier there had been a little party at the US office to send the reluctant traveller back home, and a curious thing had happened. A chance encounter which has somehow stuck in my mind.
“You’re McAlister?” this man had said, in a manner that combined a statement and a question, and at the same time offering his hand.
“Yes I am; Tobias McAlister; what can I do for you?” taking the hand and shaking it firmly.
“Any relation to Marshall McAlister?” he asked.
“Marshall McAlister is my father. Did you know him?”
“You bet, we were good buddies years ago.”
Toby studied his new acquaintance with interest. He was about his father’s age, and though he knew that his parents had lived and studied in America, he had only sketchy knowledge of their lifestyle then.
“Soon as I saw your face, and heard you name I felt sure. We were all in the gang, he and his girlfriend; no his wife; hey I was at their wedding; your mother I guess; Judy.” He paused, a little impatiently, waiting for a gesture from Tobias to confirm that Judy was indeed his mother. “We met first at the university,” he continued, “and then again at a ‘Thanksgiving’ party somewhere; we stayed friends after that until they went back to the UK. Hey, I remember now, she was expecting and Marshall wanted his kid to be born in England; something to do with cricket; guess that little bump must have been you.”
“My sister actually; I came a little later.”
“Great; he got two kids then.”
“Three. I have a younger brother.”
“Great,” he said again, “Is he still- you still in touch?”
“I’m sorry to say that my parents split up twenty years ago.” It seemed such a simple statement to tell of such a complicated time. “But I see him from time to time and he seems to be well.”
“Glad to know that; pity they split; happens all the time; when you see him say hello for me.” He pressed a card into Tobias’s hand as he shook it again. “Knew I was right about you; great; got to go; another meeting.” And he was gone.
Tobias sat on the bed and looked again at the card and thought of those far off days. They must have had so much to look forward to back then, so many dreams. So many twists and turns. Yes, he was glad to be flying home in the morning.
* * *
“Hi Sis.” He said brightly to the phone.
“Hello Tabby, but you know I don’t like being called ‘Sis’.”
“Josephina then,” he said, slightly exaggerating the full name, “How’s things?”
“‘Jo’ will do if you don’t mind, and since you ask I am rushed off my feet.”
“OK, just a quick call; make a note in your diary, Nov 26th. I’m giving a party, a thanksgiving party, and I want you and Martin to be there. Get someone to look after the kids.”
He put the phone down, but a little grin stayed on his face remembering the difficulty she had trying to pronounce his name when she was a child.
He thought about her for a while. Poor old Jo; no longer the career girl she once was, having thrown it all away - so she says, but he knew she didn’t mean it - for love. She married a legal eagle from a rival company, and before they could say ‘honi soit qui maly pence’, there was a baby on the way. Jo’s baby was duly delivered, but somewhat to her mother’s discomfiture, rather sooner than was appropriate. That feeling was very short lived however, for she could not resist the nature in her and quickly took all the delight she could in her first grandchild. When, some eighteen months later another one arrived - and with there no longer being a need to check the calendar - she was in heaven.
Tobias picked up the phone again, this time to call his brother. Stefan had become interested in the RAF while at the university, and when he left with his science degree he enlisted for officer training. Following his ‘passing out’, and a further couple of years training he became a pilot. He had risen in rank to Flight Lieutenant, and had let it slip that he had high hopes of imminent promotion to Squadron Leader.
“Hello Stef, can you swing a day or two leave around Nov. 26th. He started to tell of his plans for a party, and ...”
“Hello; is that you Tabby, it’s not a good connection?”
“Stef; it’s Tabby here; what’s all that noise?”
“Hi Tabby, sorry about that; it’s a jet engine, I’m at thirty thousand feet.”
“What! Have they put me through on air traffic control?”
“Good Lord no. You got me on my mobile.”
Long live those twists and turns. Stef assured his brother that he would be there. “Can I bring someone with me?” he asked.
“Let me think, will it be a girl by any chance?”
“Yes as a matter of fact. Why; would you rather I bring a fellah?”
“You what? I’ll have a word with mum about the sleeping arrangements. I’ll see if I can book you a double; might just swing it with a girl, but a fellah; no chance.”
They dissolved into laughter, but then Stef cut in. “Better stop now Tabby, the C.O. doesn’t like us chatting at five hundred knots; says it ruins our concentration. Bye.”
There was a moment of silence before Tobias too put down his phone. Despite the jollity he was glad that their conversation had not been face to face. Glad that his brother had not seen the slightly pained expression on his face. But the mood passed quickly and soon the grin on Tabby’s face was wider than ever. Now he had work to do, and he turned his swivel chair through half a circle until he faced his drawing board, and picked up a pencil.
With a university friend he had set up a graphic design company. He spent most of his time in the office, but he liked the discipline of the drawing board, and liked to keep his hand in whenever there was a spare easel. His partner looked after the Computer Aided Design side, and between them and the Internet, they had established a very lucrative business. Thirty years old now and still unmarried, he managed to create a feeling of both pride, and concern, within his mother’s breast.
“Can’t you find a nice girl and settle down?” she would ask. He would reply that he was happy with his life, and at the moment didn’t want that kind of commitment. What he didn’t tell her, or never had, was that he did not share his brother’s enthusiasm for girls.
Thanksgiving day duly arrived, and one by one Tobias’s guests arrived at his flat. First to arrive; surprise surprise! was his mother. “I thought I’d come early dear in case you needed any help.” Tobias smiled, thanked her, and made her comfortable in his lounge. He hoped that the surprise he had planned wasn’t spoiled by her early arrival.
Next on the scene was Josephina, without husband. “Sorry Tabby,“ she said, as she stretched up to give her brother a peck on the cheek. “He’s been delayed, but he has promised to be here in time for the party.”
“That’s fine Jo. Now go into the lounge and keep your mother entertained, and out of my way.”
“She’s here already?”
“Yes; you know her; wants to help.”
“Oh dear.” Josephina looked a bit sheepish. “That’s why I have come early too.”
“Everything is under control. Gerald is beavering away in the kitchen, and I’ve hired some help, so thank you, but go away.” He finished his mock rebuke with a firm, but not too hard, slap on his sister’s bottom.
Another hour passed before Stefan and his girl friend arrived. Tobias was very fond of his brother, who seemed to have inherited all the good traits of his parents and none of the bad. He was good looking (mother) intelligent (both) sharp witted and humorous (father). Unlike them both he was gregarious and open. He was one of those fortunate people who everyone seemed to like. Inevitably his ‘friend’ was like a model. Beautiful, slim, gloriously topped with long golden locks, and with a smile that would melt the hardest heart.
“Hi Tabby,” he said a he gently drew his girl friend forward, “this is Louise.” Introductions complete they too were dispatched into the lounge. Success in business had allowed Tobias to afford a large luxury flat, so there was plenty of room for his guests, but there were only two bedrooms. He had, as promised, persuaded his mother, that in this day and age, it would not be improper for her to accommodate her youngest son and his girlfriend in one bedroom for their overnight stay. His own spare bedroom was set aside for another purpose.
Everything was ready, and with only five minutes left before the appointed time the doorbell rang, and when Tobias opened the door two men stood waiting. Both were greeted warmly, but only Martin, Jo’s husband, was ushered into the lounge to join the others.
Adjoining the lounge, but slightly separate was the dining area, in which sat a very large oval table complete with eight chairs, and at their host’s invitation the guests took their places where name cards indicated. When all were seated three chairs remained unoccupied, but soon one was taken when Gerald, known to family members as Tobias’s business partner, took his seat at one end. The one at the other end, place named ‘Tobias’, and the one to its left, place named ‘Guest’ were still empty.
Tobias arrived, but remained standing behind his chair. He paused and looked at his visitors. “Welcome to my home and to my table.” he announced, rather formally. “We are here at ‘Thanksgiving’ to thank God for the good things in our lives, and I for one have much to be grateful for, not least my family.”
Then he indicated the empty chair. “But you will all have noticed that there is one more space at the table, and I hope you will all welcome my final guest. He looked at his mother as he then said, “Please come in father.”
Tobias was very relieved to see his mother joining in the applause which came spontaneously as the ‘special’ guest entered the room. Sixty now, tall and elegant, his neatly trimmed white beard matching a good, also white, head of hair, he smiled at the assembled gathering, simply raising his hands a little in greeting. Judy McAlister smiled, first at her son, then at her husband who had taken his place diagonally opposite her.
At a signal two ladies appeared, hired for the evening to serve the meal, one of whom was carrying a tray on which sat, suitably roasted, a magnificent turkey.
The dinner was a huge success, where conversations and wine flowed freely. As a finally, as was their custom, each person around the table was invited to say a few words. Jo, to the right of Tabby started off by thanking her brother for such a pleasant evening.
Her husband Martin was next to speak, first apologising to Jo for the subterfuge, and the inevitable little white lies he had been forced to tell to bring her father to the dinner, “without risking the whole world finding out.” Much laughter resulted with the suggestion that his wife could not keep a secret.
Then it was ‘mum’s’ turn to speak, a moment of concern for Tobias. But he need not have worried, for she was charming and welcoming to the man who was still her husband, and the father of her children. “They would,” she said, “have plenty to talk about.”
Gerald next, from his place at the end of the table. He said, simply, but somewhat enigmatically, how nice it was to be part of a family.
Then Louise quietly thanked Tobias for inviting her, and hoped that this would not be the last time she met Stef’s family.
She was followed by Stef himself, gregarious and as funny as ever, had everyone laughing, and finished off by saying that now Louise had met the family, she might say ‘yes’ next time he asked. Someone called out ‘depends on what you’re asking’ . That brought laughter, another round of applause, and the slight pinking of two beautiful cheeks.
Now it was Marshall McAlister’s’ turn. He stood up, the first one around the table to do so. He started by thanking Tobias for giving him the opportunity to be once more with his family, of whom he said, he was inordinately proud. He finished by thanking his wife for welcoming him so graciously. He sat down to more applause.
The circle was almost complete, with only Tobias left to speak. He also stood up, but was rather slow to start. When he did however he had much to say. He repeated his welcome to his guests, and especially his father, and said how pleased he was that, while he did not expect a reconciliation for his parents, it was rewarding to see the beginning of a renewed friendship. Then he looked to the far end of the table. “Now,” he said, and paused again, “it is time that I introduced my partner Gerald.” Gerald bowed slightly.
“But we all know Gerald, he’s been your business partner for ages.” Tobias heard his mother say those words, and also something similar from Jo, simply saying what everyone knew.
“No.” Tobias said, “Gerald is my partner.” It took a moment for the significance of that statement to sink in, but when Gerald stood up it was clear.
“Oh Tabby,” his mother was first to speak, “would you believe that I think I already knew.”
There followed a period of slightly awkward confusion. A handshake from Stefan was achieved across both corners to Tobias and Gerald. There was some cross talk, some movement and pats on backs, which was ended when ‘mum’ left her chair to give her son a kiss on the cheek, followed by going to the other end of the table, and doing the same to Gerald. Gerald then sat down, and the gentle ring of spoon against glass sent everyone back to their chairs.
“Thanks folks for your support,” said Tobias, who was now the only one standing, “but I haven’t quite finished.” He took up his glass, but didn’t raise it. “This is what I want to say. We all know about our past; when it was good, and when it was bad, and what we could learn from it. And we all know about the present. The lives we lead, what’s right and what’s wrong. And about days like today; all together; what a blessing.” There was another little pause, before he concluded. “But I think that we all have good reason; many and varied no doubt, some different from each others but some shared, to look forward to in our tomorrows.”
Now Tobias raised his glass and slowly made a circular motion around the table. “So my toast is - Tomorrow! May you always be in my tomorrows; and may I always be in yours.”